This often stirs emotion and debate, especially on social media where different opinions clash. But I want to approach it not from sentiment, but from the lens of culture, the Igbo culture.
The Cultural Lens
Traditionally, the Igbo man does not kneel down to propose.
Kneeling to propose is not our practice. It is borrowed from Western culture, the “white man’s way.”
I remember watching an interview where veteran actor Pete Edochie was asked this same question.
The interviewer pointed out that since we already adopt certain Western practices from clothing to religion, why should kneeling to propose be any different?
Pete Edochie’s response deeply resonated with me, as it aligned with my personal belief on this matter.
What I Took From His Response
He explained that while it’s true we’ve adopted many foreign influences especially through religion and modern lifestyle, we must remain logical and intentional about what we take in.
When learning from others, take what uplifts and aligns with your values, but do not discard what already works in your culture.
Marriage, for example, is one of the strongest institutions in Igbo land. It’s built on mutual respect, love, and family values not on performative gestures.
In contrast, the same Western societies we imitate are struggling with the very foundations of marriage, high divorce rates, normalized baby-mama culture, and crumbling family structures.
The Igbo marriage system, however, has historically stood firm, a structure where the man leads with love, the woman honors her husband, and the family thrives in unity.
Pete Edochie said it perfectly:
“If anything, the white man should come and learn marriage from the Igbo man.”
My Stand
For me, kneeling down to propose feels like eye service, a borrowed performance of affection that doesn’t define true love or commitment.
Love is not measured by how low you kneel, but by how deep your respect, loyalty, and care run.
Genuine affection is in how you treat your partner daily, with kindness, patience, and consistency. These are values that are timeless and deeply rooted in our culture.
So the question remains:
Should we copy a culture that is visibly struggling with the very thing we hold sacred?
My Answer
I am an Igbo man.
I will express love with sincerity, honor my partner, and uphold the traditions that have kept our families strong for generations.
But I will not kneel to propose, because my culture already teaches me how to love with respect and purpose.